Wow.... it really is 2013... This is a year that I thought would never come and now that its here I'm 100% sure that I am NOT ready for it. As it stands right now 2013 brings the end to my first career after 20+ years, a new baby girl, my oldest graduating high school and heading off to college, and a strong desire to strengthen my relationships with my family, my God, and my friends all while getting and staying in better shape.
- RETIREMENT: I don't consider "military retirement" a retirement, more of a transition, but I am "retiring" from the military and have to find something new to do with myself. I've done everything I know to do. I have enlisted experience, nuclear power experience, leadership experience, a BS in engineering, an MBA and soon a Strategic Communications master's, but this is probably the part of 2013 that scares me the most, more to come.
- BABY: I really thought I/we were done having children after our daughter was born three and a half years ago, but God had other plans. I'm very much looking forward to her arrival, but I am scared to death about being in my 50s when she is a teenager... start praying for me now please.
- OLDEST SON: I can't believe that within a couple of weeks of our daughter's planned arrival, my oldest son will graduate high school. He is such a great kid and young man and has done extremely well in all of his endeavors to this day. He plans to go to my alma mater, which I love, and major in Pharmacy, which is scary to me, because I don't feel I can help him as much as I could if he majored in engineering or business, but we shall see.
- NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS:
- Strengthening my relationship with my God. I have been so focused on the "right" religion and getting myself right before I start going to church again. I've had friends invite me to particular churches and I always find a reason not to attend, wrong denomination, too many obscure beliefs/rules, or what other people will think about my decision to choose and ultimately take my family to a particular church / religion. I think that I know I need to attend a church to build strength in my faith and to set the example for my family. I hope I do the right thing and soon.
- My family is so important to me and I feel a lot of guilt sometimes when I choose to go to a sporting event or motorcycle ride instead of spending time with my family. I know every person needs to have different things in their lives, but I believe I need to focus on putting my family first more often.
- I don't have a lot of friends, nor do I have the personality to be able to treat a large amount of friends appropriately. But I do believe that I have a small group of friends that are more important to me than they know and that is because I don't do a good job of communicating that to them. I really want to improve on this, and possibly add a couple of close friends along the way.
- My physical fitness has been an issue for a few years now. My excuse has been my career and how many times I don't have time to breathe, let alone dedicate time to physical fitness. However, recently I was told to start taking blood pressure meds or make drastic changes. I have stopped drinking "cold turkey"; tomorrow will be day 90. In this time I haven't changed much else, but I have lost 15 pounds and feel like I can start to add a work out regimen to my days. With a child on the way, I want to be around for a very long time to support all of family in the ways they deserve.
Well here's hoping 2013 is a good year for my family and my friends. Happy New Year.
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Saturday, December 22, 2012
Being a kid...being a dad
So my childhood was better than some and worse than others. There are only two people who have ever walked the earth that can't say that, s/he who had the best and the worst. I've said a hundred times or more, I just want my children to have it better than I did. What does that even mean?
Well, at 38, I'm facing my oldest heading off to college next fall, Rock Chalk, and a few months before that, I'll get to hold my fourth child in my arms for the first time. So, since I only have a few months left before I have a son in college, I've started thinking about if he has had it "better" than I did.
- He had one step dad, who has been great to him. I also had one step dad who was great to me, and I still call him my dad, God rest his soul. Unfortunately, I also had 2 other step dads who, let's just say, left a lot to be desired. So I guess in that regard, he's had it better.
- I'll ignore material possessions. Quite honestly, for the longest time, these are what I thought mattered when I was trying to make sure he had it better than me. Do I always get him the newest shoes, best 1st car, etc., etc.
- Now I'm at the place in life, where I want him to have it better in a real way, but how do I accomplish this when he's 17? I started going to church when I was a teenager, more of an escape from reality than anything else. I'm honestly not sure if Jacob has ever been to church for a non-Easter/Christmas service. I was never "forced" to go to church, I was never "encouraged" to go to church either. As a matter of fact, a lot of the time religion was insulted in our house and unfortunately, sometimes I would equate that with faith. As I learned later in life, my parents actually demonstrated faith in Jesus and I wished I would have been able to see that when I was younger. Unfortunately, despite being baptized many years ago, I think I have failed Jake in this arena.
- Social Media - gosh I hate even saying the phrase. With my son and niece being 17 and growing into adulthood in a time where every topic, emotion, feeling, thought, etc. is immediately published to Facebook, Twitter, etc. I worry for both of them. I struggled with friendships and trying to meet that special someone and start the relationship that would last forever, but I didn't have to worry about a bad tweet written one moment being retweeted by 500 kids in the school... I keep trying to convince Ami and Jake that everything they post can't be taken back, but I worry neither of them really gets it yet. I'm sure lots of people thought things about me that I wouldn't want to know when I was a teenager, at least I didn't have to see it in all these different media. I don't think there is anyway I can fix this for them, but I worry about it just the same.
I could evaluate this in so many more ways, but I know that him seeing Jesus in me is the most important way I can make sure he has it better than I did and that is what I'm working on now...wish me luck!
Well, at 38, I'm facing my oldest heading off to college next fall, Rock Chalk, and a few months before that, I'll get to hold my fourth child in my arms for the first time. So, since I only have a few months left before I have a son in college, I've started thinking about if he has had it "better" than I did.
- He had one step dad, who has been great to him. I also had one step dad who was great to me, and I still call him my dad, God rest his soul. Unfortunately, I also had 2 other step dads who, let's just say, left a lot to be desired. So I guess in that regard, he's had it better.
- I'll ignore material possessions. Quite honestly, for the longest time, these are what I thought mattered when I was trying to make sure he had it better than me. Do I always get him the newest shoes, best 1st car, etc., etc.
- Now I'm at the place in life, where I want him to have it better in a real way, but how do I accomplish this when he's 17? I started going to church when I was a teenager, more of an escape from reality than anything else. I'm honestly not sure if Jacob has ever been to church for a non-Easter/Christmas service. I was never "forced" to go to church, I was never "encouraged" to go to church either. As a matter of fact, a lot of the time religion was insulted in our house and unfortunately, sometimes I would equate that with faith. As I learned later in life, my parents actually demonstrated faith in Jesus and I wished I would have been able to see that when I was younger. Unfortunately, despite being baptized many years ago, I think I have failed Jake in this arena.
- Social Media - gosh I hate even saying the phrase. With my son and niece being 17 and growing into adulthood in a time where every topic, emotion, feeling, thought, etc. is immediately published to Facebook, Twitter, etc. I worry for both of them. I struggled with friendships and trying to meet that special someone and start the relationship that would last forever, but I didn't have to worry about a bad tweet written one moment being retweeted by 500 kids in the school... I keep trying to convince Ami and Jake that everything they post can't be taken back, but I worry neither of them really gets it yet. I'm sure lots of people thought things about me that I wouldn't want to know when I was a teenager, at least I didn't have to see it in all these different media. I don't think there is anyway I can fix this for them, but I worry about it just the same.
I could evaluate this in so many more ways, but I know that him seeing Jesus in me is the most important way I can make sure he has it better than I did and that is what I'm working on now...wish me luck!
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