So my childhood was better than some and worse than others. There are only two people who have ever walked the earth that can't say that, s/he who had the best and the worst. I've said a hundred times or more, I just want my children to have it better than I did. What does that even mean?
Well, at 38, I'm facing my oldest heading off to college next fall, Rock Chalk, and a few months before that, I'll get to hold my fourth child in my arms for the first time. So, since I only have a few months left before I have a son in college, I've started thinking about if he has had it "better" than I did.
- He had one step dad, who has been great to him. I also had one step dad who was great to me, and I still call him my dad, God rest his soul. Unfortunately, I also had 2 other step dads who, let's just say, left a lot to be desired. So I guess in that regard, he's had it better.
- I'll ignore material possessions. Quite honestly, for the longest time, these are what I thought mattered when I was trying to make sure he had it better than me. Do I always get him the newest shoes, best 1st car, etc., etc.
- Now I'm at the place in life, where I want him to have it better in a real way, but how do I accomplish this when he's 17? I started going to church when I was a teenager, more of an escape from reality than anything else. I'm honestly not sure if Jacob has ever been to church for a non-Easter/Christmas service. I was never "forced" to go to church, I was never "encouraged" to go to church either. As a matter of fact, a lot of the time religion was insulted in our house and unfortunately, sometimes I would equate that with faith. As I learned later in life, my parents actually demonstrated faith in Jesus and I wished I would have been able to see that when I was younger. Unfortunately, despite being baptized many years ago, I think I have failed Jake in this arena.
- Social Media - gosh I hate even saying the phrase. With my son and niece being 17 and growing into adulthood in a time where every topic, emotion, feeling, thought, etc. is immediately published to Facebook, Twitter, etc. I worry for both of them. I struggled with friendships and trying to meet that special someone and start the relationship that would last forever, but I didn't have to worry about a bad tweet written one moment being retweeted by 500 kids in the school... I keep trying to convince Ami and Jake that everything they post can't be taken back, but I worry neither of them really gets it yet. I'm sure lots of people thought things about me that I wouldn't want to know when I was a teenager, at least I didn't have to see it in all these different media. I don't think there is anyway I can fix this for them, but I worry about it just the same.
I could evaluate this in so many more ways, but I know that him seeing Jesus in me is the most important way I can make sure he has it better than I did and that is what I'm working on now...wish me luck!
